Shhh

Don't hate me for admitting this.

I've always been one of those annoying people that got through school, 

with pretty sweet grades I might add, 

without having to try that hard.

Don't let me delude you - I did all my homework and junk, 

but revision...

What's that?

In the entirety of my life I've probably only done about 10 hours of revision.

SATs, GCSE's & Alevels.

Done.

BOOM.

University.

Boom.

Oh wait.....

University - completely different story.

Dude, uni is hard!

Writing assignments sucks the life out of me, 

reading academic books makes me want to do anything (ANYTHING) other than actually read the suckers

and Harvard referencing.

The less said about that the better.

Coming to university was a bit of a rude awakening for me.

Good grades don't just happen here, you have to earn them.

But I'm going to tell you a secret now.

And it has to be kept a secret, because as soon as anyone says it out loud, that means its not a secret anymore, but a goal.

And goals require hard work.

This one especially.

I want to graduate with a first.

Shhhh.

Even writing it down makes me a little bit nervous.

Because this is my last year to make it happen.

Somewhere, deep down in the recesses of soul there's a little voice, a quite whispering of subconscious that is trying to convince me and gently tell me that I can do it.

"You averaged a first last year, remember?

It's completely within a realistic realm of possibility.

But you're going to have to put in the hours.

First class degrees don't just appear out secret hopes and good intentions. 

They need work you know.

And lots of it.

But you can do it."

So there you go.

I want a first.

But shhh, because as soon anyone mentions it, I kinda have to make it happen.

And that scares the bajeezus out of me.